While I’ve been dealing with cancer, I’ve faced isolation alot with the accompanying depression. I like being alone, but facing my fears alone was too much for me. Facebook filled a need but I found myself sucked in more and more. Originally I joined because my chickadees had left the nest and it was easier to keep them in my sights on the network. Then of course, I began to be more active myself and they ran for their lives. Cancer though, was the reason that I became a 24/7 user.
After the horrific Manchester bombing, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I would have heard about the tragedy offline and been just as affected but on Facebook, the news is chased down with news stories about the demise of my country under this administration and the accompanying vitriol-back to back. I have bartended….its like beer, chased by tequila shots, followed by drunken brawls…only constantly.I’m not a political junkie because of Facebook but I am over exposed because of it. Too much information!
So here I am. Day 2.
What happened on Day 1? I found out that one can have Messenger and not Facebook. I am assured, ” Its better than texting!” Me: ” Gosh, what can be better than texting?! Sign me up!”
I also started knitting something and used Messenger to chat with an artist friend who I draw with. We compared notes and work. I felt odd…and finally realized that it was the underlying depression creeping up on me. So what did I do? I frigging opened an Instagram account ( will be deleting it shortly). Frying pan to the fire.
Day 2 ( so far): I slept in. Usually I wake up and take a med which requires an empty stomach for half an hour after. I usually catch up on facebook before making coffee. Instead, I slept! I will be sleeping a lot.
Today I am attending a “palliative care” meeting. The hospital is now requiring that all cancer patients who are ultimately terminal, to join. I’m not sure what they would do if I did not join…maybe break my fingers? I am attending because I am curious. This step is kind of creepy…its a pre hospice hospice. It could be years before I need it so I am not taking it that seriously. I just wonder what kind of grant they got to do this because with all of the upcoming dismantling, there is no way the hospital can require this from insurance without some kind of kick back.
However, I want to announce the appointment on Facebook! “Whoo hoo! I landed a palliative care meeting!” Like a job interview or something.
I had a nice picture for you all today but its on my ipad camera. Instagram accepts images quite nicely from the very same device but this old dinosaur called wordpress? No. Uh. Uh. Archaic is its thing apparently.
I don’t know about this stuff anymore….is it worth the headache?