Oh look, a picture!

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The rest of Day 2 of my Facebook fast went well. I knit more of the ribbing on the cardigan I started. The yarn is from an alpaca I once owned who I named Kosmic Shiva, mixed in with some other alpaca fleece I was given from a rancher. Shiva is in a new home but has a lovely soft fiber that a local mill cleaned, carded and spun into fingering weight for me. They kept 2/3rds of the yarn and gave me my share. I’m thrilled! Unfortunately , my Dolly Lama’s fleece was unworkable as it was too short so I have nothing to remember him by besides memories. I think of him often actually.

At any rate, I’m actually happy to not be on that social network. I was hating it and now I realize how deeply that went.

The palliative care appointment might well be the best thing to happen to me. The nurse practitioner I met with is going to try me on a new pain killer that she feels might be better because of how sleepy my current one is making me. Her goal is to give me back a semblance of a quality life- one that is active and well adjusted. I’m obviously on board with that.

In the meantime, I am returning to UW Madisons cancer center for another second opinion so I am on hiatus from treatment until then. The direct radiation to my large livertumor worked…the tumor is dead. The other one on the left lobe is stable which is good. However my lymph is quite enlarged and as per usual, nothing invasive is possible without serious risk, if at all. I no longer believe that.

Infact it disturbs me because half the stage 4 Colon Cancer patients with similar cases to mine that  I have spoken to have this crazy idea….they can shrink things down then do surgery for the rest. This goal makes the torture of chemo tolerable…its part of a long game, not an end all. I don’t have that sense of possibility because, well…..thats what I’m going to find out- why?I’m not a rare case, nor is my cancer the scary genetic type. Just run of the mill stuff here.

So far my lung tumor was too dangerous to biopsy, my liver tumor too close to the pancreas to tinker with and now my lymph also is too close to something or other. ….. So off to Madison we go.

 

 

 

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19 thoughts on “Oh look, a picture!

  1. Sending you lots of LOVE as you go to Madison Linda.. I am happy that the tumor is dead on your liver.. Makes all that Chemo worth.. I know there are still lots of other things to take into account.. But Keep your spirits up my friend..

    Its good to escape social Media.. I am not on FB.. But in a way for a time I was reluctant to return to WP as I had such a Peaceful vacation and time away..
    I hope all goes well Linda. And good to see the Knitting needles are out again.. 🙂
    Hugs Sue xx

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    • Thank you. I’m feeling better in many ways even if my treatment hasnt been successful.
      I’m going to Madison with no expectations however. Knitting does feel good! I forgot how catharctic it can be:)

      Liked by 1 person

      • Its addictive.. which is why I only knit in winter months.. usually.. As I enjoy sitting of an evening with my knitting.. When the Summer is here.. I enjoy sitting outside.. Just BEing.. and not doing much at all except swing on my double swing.. with feet up listening the blackbird calls..

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      • That sounds lovely. I’m probablly ot going to finish the swearer till fall so right now, its a way to use upervous energy that I used up by going to social media. Its like chewing gum
        when quitting smoking;)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. A second opinion, sounds in order. It may be the circuit breaker you need. My thoughts are with you, now your medical team has changed (oncologist). I know how things changed for me, when my favourite Diabetes Specialist retired. It was their job to enable me, and they seemed to have an answer for everything. They were my circuit breaker for all my little bumps in the road.

    When they left, I had to navigate the medical personal opinions, all over again. I’m still doing that, but the team I have are okay. I hope the palliative care helps you find answers. As well as the second opinion. And in the meantime, you get to knit. I like to keep my hands busy too. 🙂

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    • Thanks Chris. My oncologist is here until August but it feels like all of tnat is over somehow. I can’t explain yet.
      I am going to second opinion appointments with zero expectations. My palliative care dr. seemed a little concerned over the fact that there was no master plan for me beyond ” keeping it at bay” so hopefully…..somebody can step in with good news. I’ll let you know. I appreciate your support more than I can say.

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  4. Meanwhile, have you tried this sort of exercise- pace exercise ? My experience is that it will boost one’s metabolism. Start very slowly, for example, one or two minutes a day and steadily and very slowly increase the duration and intensity in a few months.

    Liked by 1 person

    • This is the first time I have heard of it so I researched. Pace gets alot of good reviews. I will look more into it as it looks straightforward too. Have you done it?

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      • Yes. It has tremendous effect. I had a prostrate problem three years ago and had no energy and lot of medicines . I came back to a normal state and still a better one mainly through exercises. The trick is that you start very very slowly[when you are slightly exhausted postpone it for tomorrow, same time[ very important]and do it slightly more intense than the last day

        Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much! I’m glad you regained your health. Excercise is amazing as therapy. I’m going to look further into this because it takes the guesswork out for me. I will let you know. Stay healthy my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

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